Today was one of my top 10 worst days I have ever had at work. Hands down, without a doubt, it was completely rotten. If I had this kind of day a week ago, I'd have come home thoroughly depressed. But today was different. I managed not to let my disaster of a day affect my mood. At all. My tension--hyper and otherwise--didn't creep up on me. There's only one reason that today seemed bearable, when just a few days ago, it would have seemed devastating.
This guy:
Last Wednesday, as I've said before, we adopted Sampson, a 4 year-old puggle. He's perfect in nearly every way.
And I love coming home to him.
I talk to people all day long who don't really want to speak to me--clients with significant and complicated problems, overworked judges, attorneys who are mad that they are attorneys. It's not fun.
But Sampson is always happy to see me (though I understand that a large portion of that affection is because I feed him and make going to the bathroom easier). Sampson--as far as I can tell--is never angry at me, no matter how long I've left him alone at home. I mean, in less than a week I've posted two photos of him and that's two more than I thought I'd ever post of a pet.
No matter how hard a day I've had at work, Sampson makes it better.
Newt Gingrich had a pretty rough day at work last week, too. His entire campaign quit, all at once. It was already the most inauspicious start to any campaign ever (with the possible exception of my student council representative effort in my junior year of high school. I really thought my "Cut a brother some slack, Jack" slogan was going to resonate better. It's still the greatest miscalculation of my political career). ANYWAY, yeah, they all quit:
Former House speaker Newt Gingrich’s presidential campaign imploded Thursday afternoon with his entire senior staff resigning en masse, according to multiple sources familiar with the moves.
“When the campaign and the candidate disagree on the path, they’ve got to part ways,” said Rick Tyler, a longtime Gingrich spokesman who was among those who left the campaign.
Tyler as well as Rob Johnson, Gingrich’s campaign manager, Dave Carney and Katon Dawson, senior strategists to the effort, media consultant Sam Dawson, Iowa strategist Craig Schoenfeld, South Carolina operative Walter Whetsell and Georgia-based adviser Scott Rials have all stepped aside. Much of Gingrich’s early state operation was also headed for the exits, according to a one senior campaign source.
Turns out that after you foul up your own campaign announcement by making your base angry, run up a $500,000 jewelry tab while refusing to explain how that is even remotely possible, and justify your serial philandering by saying you're too patriotic, it's bad form to go on a two-week Mediterranean cruise while leaving your staff behind to slog through the bullshit you managed to leave behind (I know; I was shocked too.). Seems everyone back at Gingrich HQ had enough and split.
Newt had a bad day.
To be clear, I don't like New Gingrich. I never have. I've always cringed whenever some idiot has referred to him as the Intellectual Leader of the Republican Party (though that label might be accurate in a party that includes Sarah Palin and George W. Bush) or an Idea Machine (I mean, yeah, he has a lot of ideas but 80% of them are shitty. He's a Shitty Idea Machine, kind of like the WB Network. For every Dawson's Creek or Smallville, there are a hundred Steve Harvey Shows). He's a liar and a bloviator and seems to have the worst political instincts of any major figure that I can recall.
And now he is a candidate with no campaign.
As I type this I'm watching the recorded broadcast of tonight's GOP New Hampshire Debate, and it's painfully clear. To everyone. He's essentially being ignored and when called upon to answer a question, he really can't.
It's hard to watch (and I'll probably stop watching in a moment and not only because of Gingrich--I mean, I actually just heard Herman Cain say he wouldn't be comfortable appointing a Muslim to his adminstration and that he's deathly afraid of U.S. courts imposing Sharia law (notwithstanding that that has never, ever happened. Thankfully, I don't think--unless we're including the Kiwanis Club--we'll have to worry about a Cain Administration.).
But the point is that the Pizza Guy is doing better than Gingrich in the debate. Newt is losing to that guy, who this week trotted out the Birther horeshit again when he said that the President was raised in Kenya. He's losing to Michele Bachmann, who thinks black people have had a swell time since they got here. And he's losing to Rick Santorum, who actually believes that if you legalize gay marriage it will lead to man-dog unions. Oh, and Newt Gingrich was Speaker of the House. It's kind of sad.
No one likes the guy, with the possible exception of his Tiffany's account manager. He doesn't need to be running for president and I suspect that in short order, he won't be.
No one likes the guy. But I think I know who would like him.
A dog.
Newt needs a dog. A dog doesn't judge or criticize. It won't quit his job on you. A dog doesn't require substantial fundraising and he wouldn't even ask how you felt about Don't Ask, Don't Tell or the Ryan budget (though I suspect that the dog probably would want to confer with the generals on the former issue, and on the latter, he doesn't think we should mess around with Medicare. He's a pragmatist that way.).
Quit the campaign, Newt. It's already quit on you. Get a dog. He'll always be happy to see you.
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